I have been kind of a spiritually-oriented person most of my life since I was about 11 years old when I had my first big opening. For many years, I struggled with the idea that I needed to have a meditative practice—a consistent interior practice. This was always very, very hard for me to maintain. Finally, life threw me enough curve balls, and I went through enough depression, darkness, and suffering, that I became willing to do whatever it took to get better.
That is when I discovered brain entrainment technology and binaural technology. I did some investigation, looked at the science behind it, and then started meditating with it on September 11th, seven years ago. It changed my whole story. As I have related a bunch of times now, right away I went through a very profound spiritual opening followed by nine months of releasing layer after layer of trauma and my own split-off, wounded self. I had been aware of these inner elements intellectually, but that doesn’t heal them. Knowing what the problem is and knowing what the dynamics are is good, because it helps to make formerly perhaps unconscious patterns conscious, cognitively. But trauma does not reside in the cognitive structure.
Of course, we form all kinds of stories about what our trauma means, but this doesn’t release it. The release has to be a somatic release; it has to be released in the body. In Integral theory, we talk about the gross body, the physical body, and the subtle body, the energetic body. It seems our traumas are held somewhere in between the physical and the energetic. Frankly, when you look at Einstein’s Theory of Relativity, everything is really energy. Where the physical and the energetic bodies begin and end, I really don’t know. But that is where the release happens.
In traditional meditation, in most cases, we don’t get to the trauma. The releasing doesn’t happen. New awareness and a lot of good things come out of a traditional meditation practice, but it doesn’t facilitate the powerful releasing of shadow and traumatic material from the past. This technology of iAwake Technologies is a transformative technology that takes the ancient practice of meditation or contemplative inner practice and brings it screaming with power and efficacy into the 21st century. It really is amazing. It gives us the ability to deal with our trauma—because if we don’t deal with our unconscious, repressed, split-off parts, all of our conscious stuff is going to be bent, twisted, and poisoned by our unconscious material. In which case, we think we know why we are doing something, but we’re really doing it for another reason all together.
So, when we talk about iAwake, we’re talking about waking up and becoming really clear about what’s going on. We integrate all these split-off parts of ourselves, so we have a coherent and actualized self that can function like a well-tuned instrument with great strings and a great amplifier.
I was recently going back over some of Peter Levine‘s writings about trauma. Levine says that trauma is not a psychological problem but a biological problem and that it is lodged in the body and has to be released somatically for it to be effective. So, the cognitive and the intellectual understanding is all well and good, but ultimately trying to analyze our way out of our trauma and our wounds is like trying to eat the menu and thinking you will be satisfied. Don’t get me wrong. Menus are great; they show us what we can order and give us guidance and direction. But they are not the meal.
Our trauma is embodied, which is the reason that so many of us who have been hurt and traumatized dissociate. In other words, we split the mind off from the body so we don’t have to feel the pain, thinking that this is somehow fixing the problem. What this actually does is amplify the problem and cause it to grow, have roots, and manifest in all sorts of pathologies and symptoms, emotional, spiritual, and physical. The way out actually points in the direction that we have been avoiding, in other words re-owning the feelings, the emotions, and the bodily sensations. When we allow our submerged and split-off feelings, emotions, and bodily sensations to re-emerge and be felt with awareness, then they release and integrate, and a much healthier flow is reestablished throughout our whole system. Body•mind•spirit, or said another way, gross•subtle•causal.
Eating the menu will not satisfy your hunger.
Adapted from iAwake Technologies’ free, weekly teleconference call on December 19, 2012.
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